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What?! The plans you refer to will soon be back in our hands. In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. I’m trying not to, kid. Jedi Academy Don’t act so surprised, Your Highness. You weren’t on any mercy mission this time. Several transmissions were beamed to this ship by Rebel spies. I […]
A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green glow…and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Kids, kids. I’m not going to die. That only happens to bad people. Slow down, Bart! My legs […]
It’s only a model. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. He hasn’t got shit all over him. Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that […]
Guards! Bring me the forms I need to fill out to have her taken away! Oh, I always feared he might run off like this. Why, why, why didn’t I break his legs? Tell them I hate them. Yes, except the Dave Matthews Band doesn’t rock. The Honking Hey, guess what you’re accessories to. I […]
Keep your mind limber. Rorschach would say you have a hard time relating to others. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. This man is a knight in shining armor. Keep your mind limber. You all right, Dexter? Born Free Watching ice melt. This is fun. Oh I beg to differ, I […]
Sorry, checking all the water in this area; there’s an escaped fish. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Did I mention we have comfy chairs? Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Saving the world with meals on wheels. […]
What’s Spanish for “I know you speak English?” First place chick is hot, but has an attitude, doesn’t date magicians. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Michael! Marry me. I don’t criticize you! And if you’re worried about […]
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I have traced the Rebel spies to her. Now she is my only link to finding their secret base. Don’t underestimate the Force. You don’t believe in the Force, do you? The Force Unleashed In my experience, there is no such thing as luck. What good is a reward if you ain’t around to use […]
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try. …And the fluffy kitten played with that ball of string all through the night. On a lighter note, a Kwik-E-Mart clerk was brutally murdered last night. That’s why I love elementary school, Edna. The children believe anything you tell them. Natural […]
Well, how’d you become king, then? Well, Mercia’s a temperate zone! I dunno. Must be a king. The Knights Who Say Ni demand a sacrifice! What… is your quest? Burn her anyway! Now, look here, my good man. What do you mean? Camelot! Burn her! We want a shrubbery!! Oh! Come and see the violence […]
OK, this has gotta stop. I’m going to remind Fry of his humanity the way only a woman can. Hey! I’m a porno-dealing monster, what do I care what you think? Ah, computer dating. It’s like pimping, but you rarely have to use the phrase “upside your head.” I love this planet! I’ve got wealth, […]
Oh I beg to differ, I think we have a lot to discuss. After all, you are a client. He taught me a code. To survive. You’re a killer. I catch killers. Finding a needle in a haystack isn’t hard when every straw is computerized. Somehow, I doubt that. You have a good heart, Dexter. […]
Heh-haa! Super squeaky bum time! It’s art! A statement on modern society, ‘Oh Ain’t Modern Society Awful?’! *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! Army of Ghosts You’ve swallowed a planet! I’m the Doctor, I’m worse than everyone’s aunt. *catches himself* And that is […]
Not tricks, Michael, illusions. Really? Did nothing cancel? Bad news. Andy Griffith turned us down. He didn’t like his trailer. There’s only one man I’ve ever called a coward, and that’s Brian Doyle Murray. No, what I’m calling you is a television actor. Mr. F He’ll want to use your yacht, and I don’t want […]
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But with the blast shield down, I can’t even see! How am I supposed to fight? Don’t be too proud of this technological terror you’ve constructed. The ability to destroy a planet is insignificant next to the power of the Force. I want to come with you to Alderaan. There’s nothing for me here now. […]
I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me, Superman. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It’s what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. I’m a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. When will I learn? The answers to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of […]
Burn her anyway! Well, we did do the nose. And this isn’t my nose. This is a false one. Am I right? I am your king. No, no, no! Yes, yes. A bit. But she’s got a wart. …Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate? How do you know she is a witch? Be quiet! Bring […]
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